#OnLustAndLoveAndEverythingInBetween (part3)


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In logic and probability theory, two propositions (or events) are mutually exclusive or disjoint if they cannot both be true (occur).

Shall we treat Lust and Love as two distinct functions evolving in two separate systems, and how do they relate to Happiness? It sounds concurrently simple and complicated, hence the trickiness.

In a nutshell, there is the Lust and there is the Love… and for majority of my adult life I somehow misconceived their respective meanings as well as mishandled their applications. As these two ever-overlapping “concepts” wildly encompass a range of compelling feelings, and because they (may) relate and (may) interact with one another so closely, they would be difficult for me to comprehend fully, or even partially – for that matter; however, I feel that today, I took one step away from my initial cluelessness. 

It seems as Lust and Love feed into each other’s narrative. It seems as they share a common purpose.

Lust is straightforward, Lust is simple, and there is basically little that can be done about it: Lust assess how chemically compatible we are to someone, and how healthy would an eventual offspring be. Plain and simple and pragmatic. *Lust* solely relies on efficiency. 

Love is intricate, Love is sophisticated, and may or may not stem from Lust, but regardless where it originates, is build from the ground up. Love is potent and there is basically little that can be done about it. Love allows discrepancies to be efficiently taken care of – in case something goes down – aka imbalanced chemical compatibility. Love relies on the problem solving skills our elaborated brain cultivated, a defense mechanism we developed over time, for survival.

Lust and Love appear to be chemically induced for our species lastingness. They started mutually exclusive, and merged, inclusively, “byproducing” happiness.

So what if, what we have been lead to believe all along was flawed? What if happiness, as a purpose, was an illusion we created to rationalize our urges when in fact this is nothing but a bundle of chemical reactions… Not to say that a delusional state do not perfectly fit my desires, as this state is “inherent” to my human condition, and there is basically little that can be done about it;

Today, this right here makes total sense to me and ergo allows my soul to be soothed, and my heart to cope with whatever concerns is clouding my inner thoughts.

So, for what it’s worth, in a (my) perfect world, I will for now on use my brain to ponder if the situation is conducive to what matters most; I will, for now on, use my brain to estimate how a context can generate its highest yield of Long Term Happiness – for the latter turns out to be a convolution integrating a customizable blend of Lust and Love, and everything in between.


The way you talked to me makes it hard. It makes it hard to get involved with someone. 

What used to be easy became complicated.

You declared you did not expect a thing, but would give me the world… if I let you.

You affirmed someone will always love me. #Unconditionally. That it’s written all over me.

You whispered *that someone* will kiss the ground I walk on, hold my hand and rub my feet. #Gladly.

You raised the bar so high I’m afraid to look up. 

You raised the bar so high, I’m afraid to look down.

What was easy became complicated; yet, the mountains to climb are conducive to #delectation.

And even if these words turn out to be lies, I doubt the damage can be undone: you almost made me a believer.

#InLimbo #AlmostABeliever



I’m over sharing because, in reality who knows if we will ever meet or talk again? From that moment on anything can happen. 

Your next move is inconsequential for what matters is mine. Your next move is relevant only if it includes my heart being handled gently and respectfully.

I still care for reciprocity, although it takes the back seat. I still care to know your thoughts, although what’s important is for me to let it out, to let it know, to let it live.

The hardest part is to eloquently and accurately share my inner thoughts, even if many times simplicity alone works wonders.

Let me just hope that, overtime, the process will gradually get easier, and better and more enjoyable.

And I’ll just keep it real.



Amazingly enough, life happens again in the most interesting way possible. 

I matter; yet, I feel so insignificant sometimes. 

I matter; yet, I feel like silence carries its weight so heavily on my shoulder it makes me bend over. 

Uneasiness rips my soul into pieces and make me reconsider how things should be handled or rather left alone.

I smile but catch the subtleties of life more efficiently than you’d ever know. But you’d never know. Well I guess, now you know…




Soft and sweet.

I reminisce the Brightness of the morning.

I reminisce the Taste of drunk kisses.

I reminisce the Thrill of sleepless nights.

I reminisce the Strength of my desire.

I reminisce the Warmth of Your breath.

I reminisce the tender caress.

I reminisce the Scent of your face.

I reminisce your hands through my hair.

I reminisce you calling my name.

I reminisce how it feels like.
I reminisce how it feels like.

I reminisce… How good it feels.

For now.






It’s interesting how one simple action can have phenomenal traction; how one silly little thing can affect one’s heart.


Let’s not underestimate our power and how Well (or not so well) we fit into our surroundings: how fast the planet turns and how its moon revolution pulls and pushes the seas and all water based bodies.
Let’s not underestimate how small entities such as hormones regent our behaviors and our functionality.

Let’s not underestimate the strength of our thoughts and the potential of our soul to connect with one another, even in great distances.

Ironically, today – I feel so weak, yet so strong. I guess it all depend on how you look at it…

In the end, all we need to do is Believe this is real, cause it is, indeed, #Real.




 “The Universe does not make any mistakes; She has been doing this ish* for a while now and it does not matter what you think you really want; I know you really, really want it, and it seems like this is IT – but you are confused; what you want is irrelevant because as the caring and loving entity she is, she will only give you what you need.”

I did say that… and although I sometimes have my doubts, mainly driven by my insecurities, I BELIEVE in it. I BELIEVE in HER.

The summer is not over, yet I have learnt so much about myself. Interacted with people that shifted the way I feel about life – whose essence brought me closer to the woman I have always meant to be. 

I experienced sensations I thought I had forgotten and it left me speechless and asking for mo’. The former bitterness finally turned into a palatable treat – perfectly blended Hendricks and Tonic – a black-unsweetened dark- roast hot cup of coffee.

I have precisely been asking the universe to be good to me (among other eccentric requests) and she has been even if the darkest time; however, she was expecting more from me… Being oblivious to her cues, hints and signs, she had no choices but to gently send, as a gift a *blessing*, one of her messengers so to break it down… It was done so perfectly that I can physically and spiritually sense the transition. I am letting go of the resentment and failed attempts; I am letting go of the disappointments of these broken promises; I’m letting it go, so to leave room in my heart to be filled again by that love I have been longing for. 

I can’t wait to recognize you.




Pride is a necessary evil which unbalanced will make you waste time on love and might even bruise a beautiful relationship (to be) beyond repair; 
And yes, everybod’s goal is to protect their heart; and granted, indifference allows time for sensitive soul to heal accordingly, and yes: actions do speak louder than words, even though sometimes, the reasons behind the actions are deeper than what we assume.

I guess you will have to ponder if it is all be worth it in the end.

Can your heart afford to lose a love that might change the course of time?

Can your heart afford to lose the opportunity to raise your soul to higher level of consciousness?

These are valid questions you might want to ask yourself when ish* are going down.


Proud. We. Are. 


I want to write but I can’t right now.
Too many curious eyes, too many thirsty ears…

I can’t tell the world what I think about or dream at night, for it is too personal and probably… No, never mind.

I want to elaborate about that thrill, about those fears, about what makes me shiver (cause it does).

I’d love to prose about my inspirations, who I miss and long for and what upsets me.

But right now, it is not the right time;
And I’m wondering if… No, never mind.

It is too Fresh and Raw, “Uncut”.

I am not ready for the scrutiny.

Too many curious eyes, too many thirsty ears…



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