This desire of being acknowledged, yet to be left alone

Almost everyday, I leave my house with this desire of being acknowledged, yet to be left alone. Acknowledged as that girl who enjoys being well put together. Although I hate to care so much about how I look, I will be honest: I meticulously stare at myself in the mirror at least once a day; However, I often end up taking “the looks” down a notch, downgrading, by changing outfits, avoiding wearing makeup, wearing an extra layer of clothing, so I will not to be solicited by strangers, cause I rather be left alone. And when it is still not enough, and someone vociferously indulges in a public space, I just stare back until I make them feel ashamed of themselves. When they whisper something as I walk by, I turn back and ask out loud: “excuse me sir, but did you ask something?” Most time, caught of guard they say no. I am assertive, but I won’t unnecessarily put myself in danger: I am very cautious, and constantly assess my surroundings, just in case. For some reason, I am overly sensitive to these type of injustices lately; I am literally enraged at how oppressed and constrained women are treated. Most of us are so used to it that we see it as normalcy. I tend to believe that long ago men realized how powerful women were; then, they had no choice but to create ways to control us, set boundaries and instill a sense of insecurity so to keep their influence. The more I think about it, the more I learn how things work, the more it makes sense: I feel as I am walking out of a fog, some sort of the awakening… I am like Neo when he finally enters the matrix: he can’t deny the fact, nor ignore the reality anymore. I am enlightened. #fightthepower

Disclaimer: my ideas and opinions are subjected to change as I go through this beautiful thing we call life. You can help me shape my ideas by commenting and sharing your own perspective, as long as it is done in a respectful manner. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2014