#ImHere

I used to be fearless
But somehow, somewhere
Things changed

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#ImHere

Praise the little redheaded girl who pushed me – and I pushed her back: harder, to the floor – all because she was challenging my intellect. I knew how to spell “Oignon”! and even when her daddy grabbed and shook me after class, I kept it together – and to myself.

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#ImHere

Praise the mean girls of all ages who called me name and ugly; They made me believe the only place i belonged was hidden behind soft cover books. They tried to bury me so deep i almost suffocated. If only they knew how much they contributed to my enlightenment – who knows what would have happened had I had known all along I was that precious?

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#ImHere

Praise my mother for never saying “those words” – I may not have had the desire to create magic if not to fill the void she leaves.

It takes a while to heal
It takes a while but still-
#ImHere

Praise the disruptive souls, the fuckboys, the insecure bosses and fake friends for triggering my creativity into its greatness.

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#ImHere

Praise the diaspora for its vibrant rainbows and its soft tongues, for its bold and warm textures, for its woody spicy scents; we’ll keep dancing – barefoot- on your syncopated rhythms so to loosens our spirits – That same spirit, they attempted to kill

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#WeareHere

Praise those strong legs I used to hate: they may not fit your beauty standards but allowed me to yoga on deserted Goa beaches, explore the busy streets of Shanghai, peruse Marseille by night and stroll down Prospect Park; and when at last, I dared to showcase, the sweet sound of my thighs kindled some fervent surprise

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#ImHere

Praise my sister-friends – my ionic bonding tribe – my A team – for believing even though i hesitate, for encouraging even when I am about to vacate, for noticing even when I’m passing into oblivion. Appreciative – such a weak term to qualify my overwhelmingly supportive network

It took a while to heal
It took a while but still-
#ImHere

& I’m Here making magic
& Here overcoming fears
Full circling

#ImHere

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

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