Reflecting on The Afropean-Self: How Moving to New York Allowed me to Emancipate Myself from Expectations

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Michele Obama wrote “Becoming” and Alicia Keys “More Myself”, and over the years women of all ages and life paths have been uncovering their genuine selves. It is a sentiment I am myself familiar with and have been seeking for a long time: a quest for authenticity.

I often tell people that moving to New York allowed me to emancipate myself from the strong societal pressure and expectations I was feeling in France. Not that France is a bad place to live, but it was not an environment for me to thrive at the time. I did feel silenced and expected to be someone I was not. Of course, it took a long time to even realize how significant and life-altering this move had been, how the cultural shift impacted how I showed up in the world: moving to New York allowed me to distance myself from who I thought I should be and procure me a safe space to explore who I truly was and why: how infinite possibilities could be.

At this point of my life, I feel more “aware” even tho I know there is still a lot of work to do: I am still figuring this out and struggling to “undo” all the programming that has been done to me. Letting go of self-criticism and judgment is the hardest part – as well as forgiving yourself. One day at a time. It is a daily hustle and a mindf* – mainly because I want to remember how much I have accomplished and overcome without letting my trauma pull me to the past and prevent me from being present and/or planning for the future. It is a balancing act for sure.

Six years ago, in 2015 I wrote a poem titled “#MergingIntoMyself”. I can frankly say this is one of my favorite poems from my poetry book. Although I have come a long way, I am still on the path of improving myself, healing my ego, and building my legacy.

I am sure I am one of many going through this journey of self-improvement and for that reason, I thought created a series of notebooks and gratitude journals, titled “Shine Bright”. These journals come in two different illustrations I created years ago and at the back of the cover, you will find a poem I wrote. That is how one of them look:

Back

For more notebooks, scroll down (paid links)!

Hear it in my voice:

Reciting my Poem “Merging Into Myself”

I long to be Free.
Free from my fears.

Free from the imaginary boundaries I inflicted mySelf.
I long to be mySelf.
The woman I’ve always meant to be

Phenomenal woman, that’s Me.

The one who will own her flaws and recognize them as the most enticing part of who she is.

The one who will appreciate them the way they deserve to be.

I long to be aware.
Aware of Reality

Fully aware of the Love I’ve been the recipient of all along.

That Love that has been kept away from my heart by the fear of being rejected.

Every day, I look at mySelf.
Every day, I’m one step closer.
Every day, I am grateful for the joys and the pains and the hardships I’ve been subjected to.

I’m emerging and

#MergingIntoMySelf

Poem originally posted on this very same blog.

Excerpt from my poetry book On Love and Lust and Everything in Between.

Published by French Girl In Brooklyn

A blog about #ME: The Self-declared Woman of a Rich Ethnical and Cultural Background moving through life with a very unique lense - #WRECB

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