This past December when I was at my cousin Virginie’s house in Biarritz I felt an immense sense of peace. Maybe it was the quietness or the clean bright uncluttered space, a cocoon if you will, or maybe a combination of all that made me feel like: this is how it should be.
I have lived in New York for 16 years, and although many times challenging, I absolutely loved the city with all my heart, from its effervescence to its diverse crowd and extreme weather; however, I also felt that – maybe – it may be time for a change. A change involving quietness and fresh air.
Every time I have ah-ha moments like these (or any strong emotions if I am being truthful), I tend to write them down. This time was no different. What I did next was to take my ukulele and wrote this song.
“On the way to Oz” deals with how familial and societal pressure contributes to our overall mental health – for me I started to question how my surroundings and perception of success affected how I was seeing myself. At 39, had I met these expectations? Did I use New York as a way to distance myself from the pressure I may have felt had I lived in a more conventional town or closer to family members at the detriment of my mental health? So many questions I am eager to answer!
The song and lyrics are below if you want to check them out. I personally love how it engages my mind and stimulates my thoughts on topics such as addiction, self-love, lies, community and empathy on the road to recovery.
Lyrics:
There are places we’ll never let ourselves go
And to cope we drink, take drugs, have sex, and scroll
Up and down until we numb ourselves so cold, so cold
We pretend to enjoy things we don’t care for
And to cope we tell the world how much it cost,
And we post until we numb ourselves so cold, so cold
Then one day, the chasm between our heart
And the reality is so wide we can’t breathe
Then one day the pain we subject our soul
chatters our sanity way too deep
Some believe that money will quiet their wounds
When in fact it emphasizes their own flaws
And to cope they wander aimlessly
in virtual reality
We keep at it despite red flags and the signs
Trick ourselves until we can contort our mind
Fool ur friends and hide in plain sight
Til we no longer can lie
Then one day, the chasm between our heart
And the reality is so wide we can’t breathe
Then one day the pain we subject our soul
chatters our sanity way too deep
There’s a way to get back t yourself
It’s not easy but
You gotta let it go
And if you want
We can hold each other’s hand
On the yellow brick road
On our way to Oz
And if you want
We can hold each other’s hand
On the yellow brick road
On our way to Oz
You can download a version on my soundcloud
Daphné Mia Essiet © All rights reserved.
French Girl in Brooklyn 