On Doing What’s Right

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Two people can do or react similarly for different reasons. Two people can do and react differently for the same reason.

Read that again.

It’s hard to tell which is which for many reasons. One: we project – we tend to empathize more with those who look like us or we relate to. We automatically side their way – the one we feel safest.

Two: conditioning. In order to survive, humans instinctively form groups and rely on patterns to know what’s safe or not; we follow the rules so we keep within the group. Unfortunately, these patterns, although accepted as facts, don’t always hold true. That’s why it is important to understand who controls the narrative.

Three: we make mistakes. Our ego has a hard time admitting it could be wrong because it makes us uncomfortable – then, lacking comfort for too long leads to change and heighten humility. Our ego ain’t having that.

I won’t necessarily blame those who won’t challenge the status quo or « pretend » to be someone they aren’t so to be accepted, praised, liked, get liked. I can’t be mad at someone trying to do their best so they can « fit ». Been there, done that.

Honestly, I think a lot of people don’t even really know who they are, or what they like because they never really question whether they enjoy what they do or what was done out of habit.

Authenticity brings alignment – that’s the type of feeling we are longing for. It takes courage to reveal your true self. It also comes with a territory filled with vehement hate, fueled by fear of being left behind.

Ultimately, I believe it can be really challenging to be who you truly are for some people, simply because being accepted is fundamental to our survival as a species and in order to do so, we have to comply with certain standards rooted into some sort of privilege. It’s fair to consider the reasons we have at hand to understand why people behave the way they do so we can respond in a more informed way. It is not about being right or wrong, it is about doing what is right and consider everyone’s humanity.

Daphné Mia Essiet © All rights reserved.

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