On Texturism: Bodacious Mane, Big Hair Don’t Care

“What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world’s expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn.” Glennon Doyle, Untamed I am so grateful for the abundance of vocabulary I have learnt over the years so to articulate the way I feel. Lately, I have been thinking about “texturism” and how it has been impacting women’s lives, … Continue reading On Texturism: Bodacious Mane, Big Hair Don’t Care

On Dancing: How Representation Can Encourage Youth to Turn to Dance

Subscribe to my newsletter: http://bit.ly/gn Representation matters. When I was about 4-5 years old I was taken to a dance class in my neighborhood. I honestly can’t recall what happened that day but by the end of the class I know I never wanted to go back again. Fast forward years later when I moved to New York, I was often asked if I was a dancer. Maybe it was because of my posture (which I got from walking on a 10cm beam in artistic gymnastics). I honestly thought people were joking around; after all, I looked nothing like the girls … Continue reading On Dancing: How Representation Can Encourage Youth to Turn to Dance

On Doing What’s Right

Subscribe to my newsletter: http://bit.ly/gn Two people can do or react similarly for different reasons. Two people can do and react differently for the same reason. Read that again. It’s hard to tell which is which for many reasons. One: we project – we tend to empathize more with those who look like us or we relate to. We automatically side their way – the one we feel safest. Two: conditioning. In order to survive, humans instinctively form groups and rely on patterns to know what’s safe or not; we follow the rules so we keep within the group. Unfortunately, these … Continue reading On Doing What’s Right

#Blessed

Even tho I may project My own fears and biases I am #blessed and fulfilled Regardless of how I feel Into my sometimes blurry lenses I Get pushed and pulled back Before my own eyes All I need is a shift A bit of perspective For my hopes and my dreams To ever become clear Then promplty energized Open heart, Spirit High I give Joy another Chance And Love in again ©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2018 Continue reading #Blessed

#AtTime

#AtTime, there is a definite disconnect between the person I know I am, and the way I feel about myself. Let me reiterate: I get insecure. #AtTime. But I am not completely sure why. Pragmatically, I have nothing to complain about, I guess… Of course there will always be a Better-Looking-Smarter-Tighter-Booty-More-Accomplished-Talented-Perfect-Skin-Perfect-Teeth-Perfect-Fro-Perfect-Diet-Goes-To-The-Gym-On-A-Regular-Basis-Drinks-One-Gallon-Of-Water-A-Day-Has-That-Flawless-Fashion-Sense-Eloquent-Just-Got-Her-PHD-Chick, ya know… you feel kinda inadequate around, #AtTime – you know… But, aren’t flaws what makes us who we are, what differentiates ourselves, what makes us interestingly unique? Right? right… So how come, if I’m aware of all those blessings, my Blessings, do I feel that way, #AtTime? I … Continue reading #AtTime

#LifeBitsFallingIntoPlace

Isn’t it interesting how life can change so drastically in the space of a few months? How one year you are planning for future tense with someone and the next year you are just here, starting *fresh* cause there is literally nothing left but old pictures and fading memories. You wonder what’s next cause you are stuck, in a sense… not physically, but spiritually, which is never a good thing. It’s certainly temporary (at least let’s hope), and you need to make some adjustments. That’s also when *Friends* start moving differently around you cause your status changed. Some disappear cause … Continue reading #LifeBitsFallingIntoPlace

#InLimbo

The way you talked to me makes it hard. It makes it hard to get involved with someone. What used to be easy became complicated. You declared you did not expect a thing, but would give me the world… #IfILetYou. You affirmed someone will always love me. #Unconditionally. That it’s written all over me. You whispered *that someone* will kiss the ground I walk on, hold my hand and rub my feet. #Gladly. You raised the bar so high I’m afraid to look up. You raised the bar so high, I’m afraid to look down. What was easy became complicated; … Continue reading #InLimbo

#IfUAskMeTo

I’m oversharing ‘cause, In reality who knows if We’ll ever meet again? From Now on Anything can happen… Your next move is inconsequential For what matters is mine Your next move is relevant Only if it includes my heart Handled with dignity Care for reciprocity I’m over sharing ‘cause In reality who knows if We’ll ever speak again? From Now On… Anything can happen… Although it takes the back seat I’m eager to know more For what matter is To let it out – to let it known – to let it lived It’s hard to eloquently share my inner thoughts, Even if many times Simplicity … Continue reading #IfUAskMeTo

#TheMessenger

“The Universe does not make any mistakes; She has been doing this ish* for a while now and it does not matter what you think you really want; I know you really, really want it, and it seems like this is IT – but you are confused; what you want is irrelevant because as the caring and loving entity she is, she will only give you what you need.” I did say that… and although I sometimes have my doubts, mainly driven by my insecurities, I BELIEVE in it. I BELIEVE in HER. The summer is not over, yet I … Continue reading #TheMessenger

#PTSD

Although #heartbreak does not kill you, it does a number on you; the fear of another encounter is sometimes so overwhelming that it almost does not matter you survived. You just can’t help but look over your shoulder and/or second guess yourself. You keep hoping, smiling, praying, chanting… or whatever else you usually do to “cope”, but you just feel broken: that is just the way it is. What does not kill you makes you stronger; but did you know that first you would have to experience #PTSD? Then, it will make you either stronger, or just harder – harder … Continue reading #PTSD

#ShortUpdate

For the past month I have been sleep deprived and expectedly it has clouded my judgment and nudged my inner balance; and because of all the life changing events presently occurring it has been challenging. Although I am still experiencing anxiety, and I am extremely tired, these past couple of days I felt a deep calm within me. Months ago I asked the Universe for a few things, I actually wrote them down, and amazingly enough, they are becoming reality. I am not a religious person, but I believe in homeostasis, some call it Karma and how– we, as part … Continue reading #ShortUpdate

#AboutPatience

#AboutPatience Every time I felt challenged, I got extremely overwhelmed. Although my life might appear unorthodox for some people, I have been living very comfortable and cautious existence. Here’s the problem: nobody has ever reached the sky by being safe, and the sky is all I’ve been longing for. I’ve been meaning to explore this one precious gift of a life to its fullest, but was from early infused with fears and doubts. Having a strong support system is really a blessing, I think, even if some succeed without. I claim that I am aware of my privileges, yet I … Continue reading #AboutPatience

#AreYouYou?

  Every once in a while there is a slight shift, some sort of spiritual awakening. Then, one day as you open your eyes, you realize you have been catering to a certain ideal, specific expectations that somehow were not necessarily aligned with your inner self. Deep down you might* have known all along that something was quite peculiar… We are taught to be “good”, sage comme une image (well-behaved, like a still picture, a photograph) and that if we’d step/act out we’d be labeled as rebel, and possibly ostracized. It is in some ways fundamental to learn these boundaries in … Continue reading #AreYouYou?

#NeverEnough?

I never feel like I’m enough. I used to be an avid reader growing up and although I still read regularly there are so many others books to be read, so many authors I don’t even know about. I graduated last September. My studies were as challenging than rewarding and I am so grateful I have learnt so much. I belong to the “privileged”; it also made me realize how little I know about virtually every topic I can think of. I admire eloquence and wit of those consistent souls who have goals and reach them. I, myself, am well … Continue reading #NeverEnough?

How do I deal with certain things as a Self-Declared Woman oF Rich Ethnical and Cultural Background (WRECB)

Disclaimer: my ideas and opinions are subjected to change as I go through this beautiful thing we call life. You can help me shape my ideas by commenting and sharing your own perspective, as long as it is done in a respectful manner. I am looking forward to hearing from you! These past few days I have had interesting interactions with friends about gender and race discrimination, and I came into a few conclusions of my own. Let me first tell you a little about me: I believe race and gender are of social construct. I was socialized as a … Continue reading How do I deal with certain things as a Self-Declared Woman oF Rich Ethnical and Cultural Background (WRECB)