#WouldYouBeMyMango?

#WouldYouBeMyMango?
Juicy and Sweet,
The one bringing an extra edge
The one I devour in one seating.
 
#WouldYouBeMyMango?
Versatile and Nutritious
The one perfectly pairing with spicy
The one I blend in my smoothies
 
#WouldYouBeMyMango?
Bright and Delicate
The one satisfying my cravings
My one Delight in the morning.
 
I can’t believe
That all this time
Coalescing
In plain sight
You were here – by my side.

#WouldYouBeMyMango?

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#CauseISuspect

I choose to believe that you Love me
Yet circumstances made it seems differently.
I want my Rancor towards you to fade
#CauseISuspect your Toxic attitude
Is only a cry for Attention

I don’t expect you to understand me
I lost that interest long time ago
Neither expect your apologies
#CauseISuspect your pride
Won’t allow you to soothe my soul

I’ve stopped wishing for Compassion
I’ve stopped wanting Recognition
I’ve stopped assuming “I knew it all”
#CauseISuspect the way I feel
Has been heavily tainted

I decided to make Peace
And acknowledge my biases
When it comes to Motherhood
#CauseISuspect my perceptions
Stem from my rootless expertise

I cannot justly assess your Reasons
Nor fully comprehend your Inclinations
But I’ll embrace their Outcomes
#CauseISuspect this Reasoning
Will be my way to recover from these Afflictions

Today I am brave enough
To celebrate your input,
Or lack thereof –
#CauseISuspect my Character
Would be different, if not for You.

#CauseISuspect my Awareness
Would be different, if not for You.

#CauseISuspect
I would not be there, if not for You

& That must count for something.

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#ForResearchPurposes

No.

You can’t love me the way I deserve to be loved
But I’ll drink your magic until I’m back on my feet

I’ll write poems, chant songs and tingle inside
Passionately remembering – in the back of my mind – my furtive encounter with your #AlterEgo

Compounded memories of our tongues intertwined fade while
Your dexterity stays engraved down my spine:
Limpid as the water that flowed down my thighs,
That time.

I’ll forever be grateful for the inspiration you gave me
And the growth your indifference engendered within me

You pushed me through doors
Of unforeseen bliss:
A short-lived elation
Yet, overall mighty

You revamped my dull reality
Into an exhilarating maze
I now am finally finding the grand entrance

Don’t you recall a thing?
Or, should I assume you’re pretending not to?
For no weeks, for me, pass without the simple thought of you

I inconspicuously experiment, still, on our past esoteric frequency –
All #ForResearchPurposes
Of course:
Just to further humanity.

#ForResearchPurposes

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#CognitiveDissonance

I am Black, I am white
& everything in between
I am not asking for permission
I am just being me

And so what if I call myself black
I’m simply stating the fact
That the diaspora lives within me

I am not confused
Tho, you may be:
Your attempt to project
Failed miserably

Against all odds
I am serene
Despite your thoughts
I feel at ease

In your outrage:
I’m unconcerned.
You curse, you pace:
I’m unbothered.

Your Soul is drenched
By my claims
Bewildered
By my assertions

My existence
Impacts your spirit
You hastily jump
to conclusions

You’re tormented
By my Being
You fail to comprehend who “I be” and instead embrace fallacious ironies.

You don’t have to like it
You don’t have to acquiesce
For you’re irrelevant
In my most inner space

Feel uncomfortable? Good – you’re growing!

I am Black, I am white
& everything in between
I am not asking for y’all permission
I am just being me

And so what if I call myself black
I’m simply stating the fact
That the diaspora lives within me

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#SoYouCouldSleepAtNight

Is there a chance you were told lies?
#SoYouCouldSleepAtNight

Is there a possibility your fathers euphemized history?

What is the likelihood alternative facts shaped your narrative, indeed?

That instead of pointing out death, beatings, and rapes,

You were taught to legitimize?

That instead of being shown the naked truth, the wool was pulled over your eyes?

#SoYouCouldSleepAtNight

& the tales you were told as sugarcoated anecdotes:
#SoYouCouldSleepAtNight

& the news you’ve been fed by the media:
#SoYouCouldSleepAtNight

Fueled by

Erroneous statistics
Inconclusive studies
Flawed methodology
Vindictive motives…
Propagated with certainty

So you can have a spur of credibility while perpetuating lies—
And you don’t know any better…

But since correlation does not equate causation
You need rethink your entire vision:
Today? No, like yesterday!

Awaken my friend.

I am not here for you to lose your sleep
I’m here so you can help me regain mine

So we could both sleep at night.

#SoYouCouldSleepAtNight

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#SoftSpot

If only in my dreams
The way I felt could be encapsulated into colors or sounds
Savored and digested
It’ll go a little something like this:

You’re my #SoftSpot

You make me want to draw orange curves, on my bare canvas
Sprinkle confettis and sparkles
So to convey the warmth and abundance of my fondness for you

You’re my #SoftSpot.

The simple thought of You
Innervates my inspiration…
My inspiration translates into words worth millions of awakening sultry touches

You’re my #SoftSpot.

Sonorous angles reverberating through
the spaciousness of my so called craze
your full-toned commands whispered in my ears – I chant

You’re my #SoftSpot.

And I sometimes wished you deserved me so I could pick up my phone and hear your sweet self

And I sometimes wished you deserved me so when I see you I would not have to pretend not to care

If only in my dreams…
The way I felt could be encapsulated into soft colors or familiar sounds
Savored and digested
I’d take longer naps and get my beauty sleep.

Without a doubt…

#SoftSpot

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#IAmEnough

#IAmEnough
Even when you don’t see me
Nor acknowledge me

#IAmEnough
Even when I don’t fit in your
Lack of creativity

#IAmEnough
Morning, day and night –
And till the break of dawn

#IAmEnough
Surrendering to the rivers
The lakes and oceans

•••

And I can’t get enough
Of the Love the Universe
Bestowed upon me

That precious Love

No, I can’t get enough…
Of being Enough

Full of myself?
Sure thing, you may think…

But reality calls for
My confidence
Under any circumstance-s

#IAmEnough

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#YoureAVisionary 

Visionary: a person with original ideas about what the future will or could be like.

 #YoureAVisionary

Cause of you little girls and boys 
Of all shades and background
Believed
 #YoureAVisionary

Cause you’ve changed the game
Forever
#YoureAVisionay

Cause when I look at myself
I see a beautiful and gifted
Hard working and worthy
Rainbow Woman
#YoureAVisionary

Cause you planted a seed that will grow
And thrive
#YoureAVisionary

Cause with your love and compassion
You inspired millions to love and be compassionate
#YoureAVisionary

Haters gonna hate
Cause they don’t vibrate
In the same frequency
But somehow
One day they will, just because•••
#YoureAVisionary

Thank you president Barack Obama 
For doing the best you could
And instilled in us
The confidence we missed 
& for encouraging the youth who one day
Will follow your steps

#YoureAVisionary

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2017

#InTheBackOfMyMind


I see you

A seed was planted, while ago.
Inclement weather and infertile ground made it hard, but it finally grew within me.

#InTheBackOfMyMind I kept thinking: “What a beautiful tree”: I couldn’t wait to climb and “experience” it.

I was so eager to eat the fruits, that as soon opportunity rose, I tasted one – prematurely.

Its skin was shiny & soft and its fragrance delightful.

But little did I know that green fruits don’t taste that good…

Although, months went by – and my first impression left a bitter taste in my mouth – I still thought about “it” –  #InTheBackOfMyMind

#InTheBackOfMyMind I wondered how me being patient would have made “things” different.

#InTheBackOfMyMind I am still pondering if its texture and palatability would have suited me.

#InTheBackOfMyMind I lost myself and fantasized. Fantasize still, and write about that feeling…

#InTheBackOfMyMind I know I’m not the only one with a sweet tooth and other fruits may suit me better.

I still think of “it”… from time to time…

I really wonder what the message was; what the message is.

#InTheBackOfMyMind all things happens for specific reasons, and fruits “like that” are no coincidence.

Fruits like “yoU” keep me believing.

Keep me believing I still can “Feel” – and will feel that same way again about other fruits… at some points.

A seed was planted, while ago.

A beautiful tree grew within me and his wood helped me build solid doors and windows.

Not sure I will ever taste its fruits ever again, but if I do, this time I’ll wait until they are ripe.

#InTheBackOfMyMind

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#LetYouKnow

I dreamt about you.

How weird does it sound?

I dreamt and you were here, and I should have told you then everything I’m too shy to #LetYouKnow when I’m awake.

#LetYouKnow how I miss “it”

#LetYouKnow it’s not the the same

#LetYouKnow the void you left when “we” decided it was “best to part”.

#LetYouKnow how I felt- and still feel, indeed – watery, cold and empty – from your absence

#LetYouKnow that I’d love you to know that all I write is about you, yet is about me, actually…

#LetYouKnow how liberating and therapeutic it is to openly let it known and, as I’m turning a new leaf: Let It Out, maybe – one last time.

I sense that years from now I’ll fondly read those words – and realize how the Universe conspired into letting me know, what I have known all along.

#LetYouKnow

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#MostTimes

WTF is wrong with me?
I am living the life.

Like, for ReaL.

Beautiful privileged existence, filled with perks and bliss, roses and gin and tonic.

Amazing.
Almost as extravagant as portrayed on social media – yet not as glamorous. But still…

I can’t believe I’m writing about that ish.

I can’t believe I’m about to say it out loud.

I can’t believe I’m longing for it.
Sometimes…
Cause if I’m keeping it real:

#MostTimes, I don’t even think about it.

#MostTimes, I almost does not even remember it once was somehow “important” and/or “relevant” –
But when it surfaces, it drowns all I’ve been building. It pollutes the purest air, it wrecks havoc my world… in my mind-

WTF is wrong with me?

Not a damn thing.

I’m just being a me.

#MostTimes

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Holla

I like sours and bitters.
Also salt and sweet.

And you make me want to holler
On my tongue “Salt and peppa”

Here you are.
Aint life amazing?

Hendricks and tonic please
Two lemons (mandatory)

Music is like great Sex.
inspires you. Gives you drive.

Music.
Love.

Ain’t it the same ish*?
Do I make you want it?
pretty sure I do.

I’m so awake.
So aware of what’s going on
[WokE]

Anyhow.

#Holla

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Meanwhile

The thing is, I’m trying to convince myself that it all happens for a reason and that the feelings passing through my soul allow me to become who I am meant to be – and most of the time I accept that, cause that’s my belief.

However, when motion slows down and dust settles a little, I look around and understand how some people just give up on everything.

I get it

Yes, everything is going to be alright in the end: the Greater Picture will definitely make sense – that’s a fact – that’s why I keep it moving. But until it does, what am I to do?

#Meanwhile, am I to surrender?
#Meanwhile, am I to notice the ironies and accept that homeostasis (some call it karma) always, somehow, reminds you how we all are, individually and collectively, accountable?

That’s the time some people who have nothing to grab on, who have nothing to hold on to, just give up.

I get it; at least I think I do

Or it may be my attempts to rationalize a chemical imbalance leading to mental health hailments.

The struggle seems to be real – well, it appears to be until you put it all in perspective; fortunately, I have perfected my rationalizing skills enough to come up with reasons why life sometimes does not follow the path intended… and I am grateful to have things to grab and people to hold on to when hell breaks loose.

So for now, I believe that every breath I take is leading to the greater picture and is indeed part of an amazing so called existence.

& One day it will all make Perfect sense;

#Meanwhile

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#ThatDayWillCome

I want Flowers
and hugs & kisses
To be adored and loved like no others before.
To be supported & respected,
Encouraged & admired.

#ThatDayWillCome

I want to feel unbelievable pleasure & unconditional Love

I want to be taken seriously and esteemed.

#ThatDayWillCome

Sooner than I am expecting
#ThatDayWillCome

I can feel it
#ThatDayWillCome

And everyday, I love myself a little more…

#ThatDayWillCome

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#TheIronies

I don’t know why we feel the need to set goals or reflect on the past specifically on our birthdays/beginning of the year etc…

I usually don’t wait for these milestones but today I felt the urge to let it out – at least let out a little bit of it, right here. Another year has passed and my birthday is here.

I feel grateful to be alive and well, to have roof over my head, food in my plate and be able to share whenever I have spare. 

I can also say that I’m *Wiser and Woke as Ever* – which is something I’m proud of.

That said, as our human condition calls for, I also have to deal with my own demons;

And by that I mean spending time analyzing the root of it all – and moving forward despite the occasional lows.

I recognize my greatness, I do, which does not shield me from setbacks and disappointments… but one thing I have learnt along the way is that everything truly happen for a reasons and in time I will look back and contemplate #TheIronies.

Pains and heartaches are a necessary part of growth, and are meant to be fully acknowledged, then “shaken off” – for survival purpose, that is.

Lately, loneliness has haunted me more often than I’d like to: it is mild and temporary; nonetheless present.

Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy my “aloneness”, my “Me time”- those are specifically designed to enhance togetherness. 

Loneliness is different, more intricate.

Loneliness is this crippling feeling you experience when *you think* the ones you care about fail to get you. 

Loneliness makes you feel like you are inadequate and as a result you are uncomfortable facing others. 

Loneliness is that space between who you are and what you think they think of you (which is different from what *they* actually think, anyway)

Loneliness is disconnect.

but then again, everything truly happens for a reason and in time I will look back and contemplate #TheIronies. 

That’s how She works. the Universe…

#TheIronies

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016