#MostTimes

WTF is wrong with me?
I am living the life.

Like, for ReaL.

Beautiful privileged existence, filled with perks and bliss, roses and gin and tonic.

Amazing.
Almost as extravagant as portrayed on social media – yet not as glamorous. But still…

I can’t believe I’m writing about that ish.

I can’t believe I’m about to say it out loud.

I can’t believe I’m longing for it.
Sometimes…
Cause if I’m keeping it real:

#MostTimes, I don’t even think about it.

#MostTimes, I almost does not even remember it once was somehow “important” and/or “relevant” –
But when it surfaces, it drowns all I’ve been building. It pollutes the purest air, it wrecks havoc my world… in my mind-

WTF is wrong with me?

Not a damn thing.

I’m just being a me.

#MostTimes

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Holla

I like sours and bitters.
Also salt and sweet.

And you make me want to holler
On my tongue “Salt and peppa”

Here you are.
Aint life amazing?

Hendricks and tonic please
Two lemons (mandatory)

Music is like great Sex.
inspires you. Gives you drive.

Music.
Love.

Ain’t it the same ish*?
Do I make you want it?
pretty sure I do.

I’m so awake.
So aware of what’s going on
[WokE]

Anyhow.

#Holla

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Meanwhile

The thing is, I’m trying to convince myself that it all happens for a reason and that the feelings passing through my soul allow me to become who I am meant to be – and most of the time I accept that, cause that’s my belief.

However, when motion slows down and dust settles a little, I look around and understand how some people just give up on everything.

I get it

Yes, everything is going to be alright in the end: the Greater Picture will definitely make sense – that’s a fact – that’s why I keep it moving. But until it does, what am I to do?

#Meanwhile, am I to surrender?
#Meanwhile, am I to notice the ironies and accept that homeostasis (some call it karma) always, somehow, reminds you how we all are, individually and collectively, accountable?

That’s the time some people who have nothing to grab on, who have nothing to hold on to, just give up.

I get it; at least I think I do

Or it may be my attempts to rationalize a chemical imbalance leading to mental health hailments.

The struggle seems to be real – well, it appears to be until you put it all in perspective; fortunately, I have perfected my rationalizing skills enough to come up with reasons why life sometimes does not follow the path intended… and I am grateful to have things to grab and people to hold on to when hell breaks loose.

So for now, I believe that every breath I take is leading to the greater picture and is indeed part of an amazing so called existence.

& One day it will all make Perfect sense;

#Meanwhile

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#ThatDayWillCome

I want Flowers
and hugs & kisses
To be adored and loved like no others before.
To be supported & respected,
Encouraged & admired.

#ThatDayWillCome

I want to feel unbelievable pleasure & unconditional Love

I want to be taken seriously and esteemed.

#ThatDayWillCome

Sooner than I am expecting
#ThatDayWillCome

I can feel it
#ThatDayWillCome

And everyday, I love myself a little more…

#ThatDayWillCome

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#TheIronies

I don’t know why we feel the need to set goals or reflect on the past specifically on our birthdays/beginning of the year etc…

I usually don’t wait for these milestones but today I felt the urge to let it out – at least let out a little bit of it, right here. Another year has passed and my birthday is here.

I feel grateful to be alive and well, to have roof over my head, food in my plate and be able to share whenever I have spare. 

I can also say that I’m *Wiser and Woke as Ever* – which is something I’m proud of.

That said, as our human condition calls for, I also have to deal with my own demons;

And by that I mean spending time analyzing the root of it all – and moving forward despite the occasional lows.

I recognize my greatness, I do, which does not shield me from setbacks and disappointments… but one thing I have learnt along the way is that everything truly happen for a reasons and in time I will look back and contemplate #TheIronies.

Pains and heartaches are a necessary part of growth, and are meant to be fully acknowledged, then “shaken off” – for survival purpose, that is.

Lately, loneliness has haunted me more often than I’d like to: it is mild and temporary; nonetheless present.

Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy my “aloneness”, my “Me time”- those are specifically designed to enhance togetherness. 

Loneliness is different, more intricate.

Loneliness is this crippling feeling you experience when *you think* the ones you care about fail to get you. 

Loneliness makes you feel like you are inadequate and as a result you are uncomfortable facing others. 

Loneliness is that space between who you are and what you think they think of you (which is different from what *they* actually think, anyway)

Loneliness is disconnect.

but then again, everything truly happens for a reason and in time I will look back and contemplate #TheIronies. 

That’s how She works. the Universe…

#TheIronies

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#ToMyPrince

I immersed myself in the springs of your Love and emerged as [the] One. I then wrapped my temple in a cocoon made of rose petals and orchids –  closed my eyes and surrendered – to the Universe.

Dreamt of butterflies kissing my hands and collarbones, in a vast garden surrounded by birch trees.

Laid down, hesitant, in the dewy grass and let your cool breeze irreversibly blow through my curls, down my back and gently curve down my spine. 

The birds singing high and enchanting melodies in the soft Purple skies reminded me of chimerical times I spent in your arms and the tender kisses we never shared. 

In the morning when the sun entered my room, vibrant as a prism, I finally understood that your voice will – forever – live in my memories. 

#ToYourMemory
#ThePurpleOne
#ToMyPrince

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#ThatNight

#ThatNight we wined so tight, the scent of your cologne mixed with mine.

I drank your champagne tasting lips till inebriation, that state where inhibitions are dreams and Love forever stands.

#ThatNight you indubitably got my full attention and reaped all the affection such passions engender.

#ThatNight plausibly occurred because I asked *She* for Ecstasy.

#ThatNight might possibly be one of the reasons why boundaries were installed then instilled, so to keep us sane and steal away pieces of our Freedom.

Do you remember how warmth loosened your spirit and how the dexterity of your soul bent mine into Rapture?

Do you remember how the euphony of our echoing melodies finally tuned into the progression of our carnal embrace?

Do you remember how the incandescent light of our heart brightened the essence of the break of Dawn?

Cause I do.

#ThatNight was definitely a shifter and will forevermore linger.

#ThatNight was what Delight is about.

So, will I ask for redemption?

N-e-Ve-R! For the Blessedness of #ThatNight allowed Hope to rise and brought me a little closer to what heaven might feel like.

#ThatNight

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Crush

   

I don’t know you like that, and it might be better that way…

I can’t recall the sound of your voice from our last brief encounter – cause we barely spoke to each other, or looked at one another, but – I imagine it sweet – and soft – and warm – just like a brownie right off the oven

I feel so silly when I see you… Can’t stop smiling like a 15 year old… Inside 

I want to put my hand on my face to hide my blushing cheeks, and my dilating pupils

But I just stand *calm and collected* cause I want you to think I’m sexy.

I cannot say your name out loud without a giggle, so I keep quiet… and when someone mentions it, my blood pressure rises…

When I scroll down my timeline and you appear, I slow down – and sometimes even scroll right back up – and pause for a sec – just because…

I wonder if you would like me; and I wonder if I would like your personality. 

Life is wild man; well what’s happening inside is definitely… Wishing one day you’ll experience how fuzzy things can be. Hoping you’ll like it and make yourself at home…

For now tho, all I can do is close my eyes, and picture your skin real tight next to mine.

#Crush

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Crazy

         

#Crazy. Only when the pain you inflicted becomes so unbearable it pours over my pores.

#Crazy. Only when my disarray morphes into a palpable spell.

#Crazy. Only when channelling my thoughts has become challenging.

#Crazy. Only when my soul finally reaches Freedom.

#Crazy. Only when containment is no longer an option.

#Crazy. Only when I assure my sanity is no longer insured.

#Crazy. Only when I assure your safety is no longer insured.

#Crazy. Only when it all becomes a blur.

Life is an always evolving collection of well-crafted enzymatic chain reactions: at any point in time, you have the opportunity to buffer and polish raw angles. You also have the opportunity to let its raw and untamed beauty escalade to heights you never would have thought existed. 

Some call it crazy. Others call it Free. 

It really depends how you position yourself. It’s about perspective.

#Crazy

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#MakeMeFeelLike 

    

 

Carry me around through these doors and #MakeMeFeelLike

You’ve been waiting for it all along.

Cause it’s been a while since…

#MakeMeFeelLike you’ve been waiting for It. All this time; and you were longing for it. For real, fo real…

#MakeMeFeelLike you’ve been dreaming about it 

#MakeMeFeelLike you putting your best work… EVER

#MakeMeFeelLike *no others before*.

#MakeMeFeelLike you know what you are doing.

#MakeMeFeelLike I can feel myself, at least, at last

#MakeMeFeelLike 

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#Freewill

  
*Always.
Wherever I fly – you are * on my mind.
Whatever I feel * transpires through my eyes.
Whenever I float – I can’t get enough of what my mind has created. But – at least – deep down- i grasp – it ain’t real.

*Ever.
Simply because there may not * be another kiss, touch or word exchanged –
With you…
Doesn’t mean I will not * feel that way again – With someone else. It was sOoooo. Damn. Hmm… #Speechless

Here’s why I don’t pick up the phone when you call;

Here’s why I keep it simple whenever I see you;

No need for you to be granted the opportunity to bend my boundaries, stretch my patience, hold my standards where they don’t belong – although my body ask for more.

I keep my distance cause #Freewill is limited around you. #Freewill *somehow* do not belong in “our space”; just passion, pleasure and sleepless nights. Perfect chemistry, little functionality.

So, let’s just take this lack of #Freewill for what it really is: spirituality, maybe – and for sure un-sustainability.

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#OnLoveAndLustAndEverythingInBetween – part4

There is something very humbling about being rejected by someone whom you really like.

Humbling because after the initial shock, it forces you to think about the reasons why it hurts so much.

Humbling because if forces you to decide whether you will allow this pain to morph into compassion or anger – towards yourself and others.

After going through yet another deception, will you decide to keep believing in Love and convince yourself that it will “all gonna be alright” (Kendrick’s voice), eventually – or will you just numb all feelings by indulging in [insert here your worse favorite  vice]?

How many times will you listen “Anytime” before the lyrics you know by heart do not hurt (as much) anymore?

How many times will you have to listen to “Prepared” until you decide this will be your new mantra and you are now ready to channel your inner Nola Darling?

Will you allow your heart to stay open, cause you perfectly know that it is the only way love will find its way back there or shut down for a while in order to find yourself again?

There is something very humbling about the by someone whom you really like.

Hopefully this new found humility will open your eyes to the infinite possibilities the Universe granted you – as everything given or taken from you is purposeful and deliberate: Trust that everything that’s ever happened is,  indeed, Δlways the best outcome.

#OnLoveAndLustAndEverythingInBetween

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#JustDont


Appearances are somehow misleading.

Most times… What seems great, perfect, enticing, greener on the other side… Is in fact completely rotten.

Somehow, the smell does not bother your asepticized noses, probably because you have been acclimatized to it. Little by little. One passive aggressiveness after the other. F*** That.

Somehow, you feel uncomfortable but you DO NOT want to trust your gut. F*** That.

Don’t let your insecurities get the best of your happiness. Be who you are meant to be and have as much freedom as you can possibly attain being who you are. Don’t let others’ bullshit mess with your spirit, your soul, your aura. F*** that, F*** them.

Remember: you only live once in that body of yours, and who knows who/what you’ll be next lifetime. Enjoy the Freedom you have been granted this time around.

Love like you give a  damn; kiss often (the French way and don’t apologize for it); hug everyday and inspire others by being the best version you claim to be.

Appearances are somehow misleading. Most times… What seems great, perfect, enticing, greener on the other side – just ain’t.. Trust me! Don’t let mofos rain on your parade. #JustDont

With Love.

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#TheBuzz


Drafted Friday while watching Brandee Younger (Harp), Dezron Douglas (Bass) & David Bryant (piano) playing at #TheWestVillageSeries’ @ Cheikh’s. Edited at 3am Saturday morning, up from drinking so much Champagne.

I tip the glass to my lips,
Allow the champagne to burn my tongue,
Then, flow down my throat
Liquid gold – I’m gone.

I close my eyes
& feel the hype-
Lose my Self, delicately.
Moments of Harpsense.

I close my eyes
& feel the hype-
Feel mySelf, indubitably
Stop the pretense.

Tho the Bass is grounding me, right there –
My soul, aloft, quivers from the thrill.
More Champagne… please.
All through the night!

Fill my emptiness
With tangible Dreams
Fill those Dreams
With (com)Passionate Love.
Fill that Love
With solid delight and gentle strokes.

Cause I’m a Queen baby:
I bathe in warm milk
& sleep in silk sheets.
Eat almonds, dates and honey – in the mawning.

I tip the glass – to my lips,
Allow the champagne to burn my tongue,
Then flow. Down my throat…
Liquid gold – I’m home.

#TheBuzz

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#iSurrender

#iSurrender.
To the Water, The Wind and the Sun.

The Water.

I drown deep and let my fears roll down my face.
I exhale to the surface to catch my breath, inhale and drown time and time, ’til I can be myself again…

#iSurrender.
To the Water, The Wind and the Sun.

The Wind.

Infiltrates every corners of my soul.
Touches every inches of my skin
Blows through my hair; I shiver.
Relieve the pain I was not aware of and was enduring – all along

#iSurrender.
To the Water, The Wind and the Sun.

The Sun.

So far yet so potent. Hot encounters and burning kisses;
You and I. Steam pouring out my pores.
You leave an impression. Every single touch.

#iSurrender.

I surrender to the Elements and now belong to the Universe

I surrendered, so could i longer be denied of my crown?

Wait? Wait! …
I’m just eager baby…

I have surrendered to She and now float in limbo between the seas and the skies until I’m claimed.

#iSurrender

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016

#LetIt

I accumulate love bits around me and I #LetIt grow, grow, grow.
And l will #LetIt burst if you touch my heart and #LetIt flow, flow, flow.

I’ll share it all, with you, naked, no games.
I’ll give it all to you. Straight up, no lies.
I’ll empty my bliss, so you can feel it too.

And “It” will change the way you see the Night Skies, brighten the Greens of the forests, deepen the Red of Women Lips, sharpen the sound of silence and enhance taste of fine wines: if you #LetIt.

“It” will delightfully take you “tHERe”, smoke your spirit and exhale your soul in a weightless incandescent cloud, so you can shine: if you #LetIt.

If you #LetIt, give yourself some time. Time to recover: breathe deeply and enjoy the high – while it last.

I ain’t here to tell you what to do.
And you don’t have to #LetIt happen.
But if you do… #LetIt… don’t come empty handed: bring some Love, Compassion and chilled Moët.

I accumulate love bits around me and I #LetIt grow, grow, grow – that’s what I do.

#LetIt

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2016