The Form or How Moving to America Reshaped my Identity as a Black Woman

I was 23 the first time I was asked to officially identify my race. I had to fill an employment form and could only pick one option. The situation was anxiety-inducing because despite the fact of not being white, could I call myself black?  As long as I can remember, people always asked: “Tu esContinue reading “The Form or How Moving to America Reshaped my Identity as a Black Woman”

#ImHere

I used to be fearless But somehow, somewhere Things changed It took a while to heal It took a while but still- #ImHere Praise the little redheaded girl who pushed me – and I pushed her back: harder, to the floor – all because she was challenging my intellect. I knew how to spell “Oignon”!Continue reading “#ImHere”

#OnLoveAndLustAndEverythingInBetween – part4

There is something very humbling about being rejected by someone whom you really like. Humbling because after the initial shock, it forces you to think about the reasons why it hurts so much. Humbling because if forces you to decide whether you will allow this pain to morph into compassion or anger – towards yourselfContinue reading “#OnLoveAndLustAndEverythingInBetween – part4”

#JustDont

Appearances are somehow misleading. Most times… What seems great, perfect, enticing, greener on the other side… Is in fact completely rotten. Somehow, the smell does not bother your asepticized noses, probably because you have been acclimatized to it. Little by little. One passive aggressiveness after the other. F*** That. Somehow, you feel uncomfortable but youContinue reading “#JustDont”

#AtTime

#AtTime, there is a definite disconnect between the person I know I am, and the way I feel about myself. Let me reiterate: I get insecure. #AtTime. But I am not completely sure why. Pragmatically, I have nothing to complain about, I guess… Of course there will always be a Better-Looking-Smarter-Tighter-Booty-More-Accomplished-Talented-Perfect-Skin-Perfect-Teeth-Perfect-Fro-Perfect-Diet-Goes-To-The-Gym-On-A-Regular-Basis-Drinks-One-Gallon-Of-Water-A-Day-Has-That-Flawless-Fashion-Sense-Eloquent-Just-Got-Her-PHD-Chick, ya know… you feelContinue reading “#AtTime”

#MergingIntoMyself

I long to be Free. Free from my fears. Free from the imaginary boundaries I inflicted mySelf. I long to be mySelf. The woman I’ve always meant to be. Phenomenal woman, that’s Me. The one who will own her flaws and recognize them as the most enticing part of who she is. The one whoContinue reading “#MergingIntoMyself”

#AndIlKeepSayingThat

Everything happens for a reason. 2015 is coming to an end, and, is so far one of the most epic years to date. The people I crossed path with this year shaped my life is significant ways. The people I crossed path with this year filled my heart with new found purposes. The people IContinue reading “#AndIlKeepSayingThat”

#AboutStraightForwardness

I left room for warmth. Your Warmth. But you took too long to say what you meant, beat around the bush like a wild man, so randomness settled in… and settled down. Back to square one. The spot, (cozy, I might add), is taken for now and you will have to entertain… entertain my soul,Continue reading “#AboutStraightForwardness”

#OverthinkingThangs

I am easily drifting towards the depth of the chiaroscuro This in between state where things never really feel comfortable; This place where we tippy toe so to not disturb the still of the Universe around us. My mind wanders as I get amazed about the grooves of the trees trunk, The softness of the grassContinue reading “#OverthinkingThangs”

#LifeBitsFallingIntoPlace

Isn’t it interesting how life can change so drastically in the space of a few months? How one year you are planning for future tense with someone and the next year you are just here, starting *fresh* cause there is literally nothing left but old pictures and fading memories. You wonder what’s next cause youContinue reading “#LifeBitsFallingIntoPlace”

#OnLustAndLoveAndEverythingInBetween (part3)

In logic and probability theory, two propositions (or events) are mutually exclusive or disjoint if they cannot both be true (occur). Shall we treat Lust and Love as two distinct functions evolving in two separate systems? How both those states relate to Happiness? It sounds concurrently simple and complicated, hence the trickiness. In a nutshell,Continue reading “#OnLustAndLoveAndEverythingInBetween (part3)”

#FYI

Amazingly enough, life happens again in the most interesting way possible. I matter; yet, I feel so insignificant sometimes. I matter; yet, I feel like silence carries its weight so heavily on my shoulder it makes me bend over. Uneasiness rips my soul into pieces and make me reconsider how things should be handled… orContinue reading “#FYI”

#FromNowOn

It’s interesting how one simple action can have phenomenal traction; how one silly little thing can affect one’s heart(s). #FromNowOn: Let’s not underestimate our power and how Well (or not so well) we fit into our surroundings: how fast the planet turns and how its moon revolution pulls and pushes the seas and all water-basedContinue reading “#FromNowOn”

#TheMessenger

“The Universe does not make any mistakes; She has been doing this ish* for a while now and it does not matter what you think you really want; I know you really, really want it, and it seems like this is IT – but you are confused; what you want is irrelevant because as theContinue reading “#TheMessenger”

#ProudWeAre

Pride is a necessary evil, which unbalanced, will make you waste time on love and might even bruise a beautiful relationship (to be) beyond repair; And yes, everyone’s goal is to protect their heart; and granted, indifference allows time for sensitive soul to heal accordingly, and yes: actions do speak louder than words, even thoughContinue reading “#ProudWeAre”

#AutoCensorship

I want to write but I can’t right now. Too many curious eyes, too many thirsty ears… I can’t tell the world what I think about or dream at night, for it is too personal and probably… No, never mind. I want to elaborate about that thrill, about those fears, about what makes me shiverContinue reading “#AutoCensorship”

#ADayInALife

It’s amazing the difference one day can make: You wake up feeling horrible, you lay down at night peaceful and collected. I’m so drastic and so impatient and so easily overwhelmed. Cause that’s who I am. Eventually, things swiftly slide into place as soon as I get into the right groove and feel comfortable; thingsContinue reading “#ADayInALife”

#PTSD

Although #heartbreak does not kill you, it does a number on you; the fear of another encounter is sometimes so overwhelming that it almost does not matter you survived. You just can’t help but look over your shoulder and/or second guess yourself. You keep hoping, smiling, praying, chanting… or whatever else you usually do toContinue reading “#PTSD”

#BarkingUpTheWrongTree

“La goutte d’eau qui fait déborder le vase” is a French idiomatic expression, which literally means “the drop of water that has made the vase overflown”. I guess this could be translated in English by the straw that broke the camel’s back, although the accuracy of the French saying pertains much better to my situation.Continue reading “#BarkingUpTheWrongTree”