#HaveYouClaimedYourQueendom?

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Have you? If not, you should. Easier said than done, I know…

I believe that the most effective way to change the world for the better is to finally acknowledge and empower women the way they should always have been. Last week I was told I had a Queen Complex. I was told I had a #QueenComplex because I believe that I should be treated like I am special. But (in my mind) I do think I am, and I also believe that all my sisters out there are. Call me vain, full of myself or even over-confident; however, the reality is that I allow myself to be out of my comfort zone and live my truth. I still feel insecure and inadequate, but not because I am being judged by others. I feel insecure and inadequate simply because it takes a moment to adjust to newness.

I will admit that over the years I have made mistakes: I have lied and manipulated. I have used, judged and disregarded others’ feelings. I have even been conniving, spoke hurtful words and was unfair to those who loved me most; and this was the kind version to the things I inflicted to myself. The pain flourishing in my womb quickly encompassed my heart and blazed those who dare to come too close. Numbness had me unable to feel pleasure even from the most delectable gifts life was offering.

Then one day, the Shift of Consciousness occurred when a little angel reminded me that Queens love themselves regardless of circumstances and radiate that love so others can feel the softness of their touch, the warmth of their breath, the solace in their words like a tender caress. Queens rise up and lead, and fill their higher purpose. Queens don’t let shame paralyze them. Interestingly enough, it was not the first time this angel had come to me, but this time I decided to listen because I felt ready.

Unfortunately, as women, we face so many challenges, starting with ourselves; challenges influenced by society, our peers/family, the media and everything in between. Again, I consider that all women have this innate untapped super power, which in most occurrences we regrettably fail to recognize, and are totally unaware of how potent it is. Hence, most of us live our entire lives consumed by this unreleased verve.

My wish is for the future is to unleash the full potential that reside in every Queen out there, to nurture, inspire, uplift and support their spirit with love and compassion.

Have you claimed your Queendom yet?
I hope those words will hearten your soul and motivate you to do so.
Most importantly, be gentle to yourself.

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2015

#ThePowerOfSymmetry

I was called beautiful twice in the space of a week.

It came from two different individuals, and under two very different circumstances:

The first time was sweetly whispered and unexpected in that way, definitely validating. It warmed every inches of my body. I *think* it was genuine and I greeted the compliment by a thank you. I understood the process: these words had come through special lenses, visual cues and other senses that transcended physicality.

The second time, was different. It was almost if, I were to blame for it. Hostile encounter where I had to explain how uncomfortable it could make me feel to be described as such.

It is indeed complicated: I do think that I fit a certain standard of attractiveness, which means that depending on which angle you are coming from, I may (or may not) look enticing. I am not meant to move everybody, (like Ruby Rose, what a relief) and I am at peace with that.

I acknowledge the power of symmetry, biologically – as our body’s survival instinct, strongly reacts, at a chemical level, to those who might be a compatible match to produce healthy offspring. Of course, there are many other factors involved in “choosing” and “picking” but I am starting to wonder how much free will we have when it comes to that type of things. How much, if we stick to a primitive approach, can we deny the power of symmetry?

Well, I can only talk for myself when I say that I view it as a potent force, a catalyst for relationships and all the things in between.

I was called beautiful twice in the space of a week. Actually, it happened a third time between when I started to write and finished this post. I don’t really know why things happen the way they do, and maybe never will, but I know that in the end it will all make sense.

©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2015

My little Business is 4 years old: Happy Birthday Aoede’s Hands


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Four years ago I started my own small business Aoede’s Hands
It has been an interesting roller-coaster, full of challenges and lessons for me.

Firstly, It was never planned.

I have always loved accessorizing unbranded, very simple clothes with fabulous accessories, such as belts, shoes and bags. I also really loved earrings and necklaces, but the very pretty ones always were too pricy, and unfortunately I didn’t have the means to spend my money on those I really liked. #agirlgotbillstopay

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The previous year, a friend of mine, Hiroko, made jewelry for one of her classes project, and gifted me a pair of earrings, which I loved (and still have). Until then, it never occurred to me that I could actually make it myself. So, after some research, mainly at the library, reading arts and craft books, I migrated to YouTube tutorials and blogs. I really liked fabric as a medium because I had been sewing since I was a child, and was very comfortable with it. I went down Fashion district and explored the millions of fabric stores. I finally found this African owner who carried beautiful wax (African fabric) and was willing to sell by the yard.

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Let me tell you there were lots of trials and errors! However, I kept working on the product until I was satisfied finish. When I was happy with one piece, I proudly rock my pieces; then something amazing happened: I was constantly complimented by strangers about them, and even stopped. This lady asked me how much I was selling them. I was shocked! She wanted to pay me!!!

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That was perfect, since I was a struggling student and I could use some extra cash to pay for classes and other expenses.

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Since then, I have been creating and selling my accessories all over the world, opened an Etsy boutique, participated to many events and street fairs. This allowed me to meet and collaborate with lots of very interesting people and grow as an individual. I also had a lot of supports from my beautiful friends in all areas, from helping me build my website, to organizing photoshoots, purchasing fabric on their trip to Africa, writing articles in French, English, Japanese, etc… tagging and promoting my jewelry!

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One of the highlights of Aoede’s Hands was when Tatiana Ward aka BeatFaceHoney made this amazing video.

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I am so grateful of all the opportunities that were given to me and I hope the future will soon bring Aoede’s Hands to another level, now that I can dedicate more time for expansion and promotion!

❤ Thank you to all ❤

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©️ Daphne Mia Essiet, 2014